I been thinkin’ a lot lately, it’s been gettin’ me lost
Alone, frozen an’ stranded in the mess of my thoughts
Why I accept the essence of God but never His laws?
An’ why I’m so kind to everyone except for my Pops?
It’s like regret is my religion, I’m assessing the costs
Of every decision, forever expecting a loss
Never acknowledge successes, but obsessed with my flaws
It’s a level of constant pressure I can never exhaust
Feel like I’m losin’, I’m drownin’, without any hope
So I turn to the few powers that allow me to cope
But I ain’t addicted to crack or the drinkin’
‘Stead o’ that it’s to religion, to rappin’ an’ to this magical thinkin’
Sometimes I wonder ’bout Dawkins an’ Hitchens
Whether the prophets of all the religions is charlatan authors of fictions
Love God so I take Him to heart
But afraid He’s a fairy tale, for human beings afraid of the dark.
Chorus (Cynthia Hallett)
Although my world may fall apart
At least I can speak with all my heart
Give it some meaning
Good Lord, give it some meaning
I’ve known hurt an’ I’ve known pain
But still my light defies the rain
Gives it some meaning
Lord knows I can give it some meaning
Give it some meaning, yeah
It’s hard to tell what my future ’bout
My little cousin doin’ well at the same college they threw me out
‘Cause I never got assignments did
I was too busy thinkin’ up a bunch o’ rhymes an’ shit
An’ plus I ain’t applied for a job in about a week
Preoccupied with the latest rap album leak
Learningdisabled, goin’ crazy again
But where exactly does that begin an’ my laziness end?
I don’t know, an’ all my talkin’ ’bout this vision an’ dreamin’ shit
Counts for nothing if hard work is the missing ingredient
So I’m outchea tryna follow through with the vision –
If I can’t fulfill my potential ain’t no use to me livin’.
Remember my Bubbie Esther how she said it to me:
“Hope I live to see you become the man you destined to be.”
An’ she gone, but I’ma get there eventually
Sometimes you work like a slave just to set yourself free.
My Pops havin’ a fit
‘Cause I’m deserting tradition, plus I don’t work for a livin’, I’m just rappin’ and shit
I make excuses like “I got a chance to make it big!”
He says, “You would if you wasn’t such a lazy kid!”
Sometimes he holdin’ back rage, wanna go berserk
‘Cause he stay doin’ me favours I don’t deserve
Always tell me time is money he don’t want me to waste it
If Mama saw the situation she would probably HATE it!
Tat’s some ugly shit.I can’t be comfy in my skin
If I’m a son of privilege gifted at nothin’ except this fuckin’ spit!
An’ when it’s done then the trouble is
That I don’t love myself, so where the love that another could try to love me with?
I maybe wasn’t sposa take it there
But my heroes said if you scared, least don’t be scared to say you scared
I wanna get me a dame to hold an’ love
But truth is that I’m deathly afraid of growin’ up.